May 21st Raptures Bring May 22nd T-shirts!

Okay, for one, I congratulate you for not being raptured.

For two, I'm saddened that my night of rapture looting had to be backtracked, and everything had to be returned.

However, my kittens, I'm going to splurge on some memorabilia for this post-rapture day.

Did YOU survive the rapture?

(Obviously, since you're reading this.)

Well, iSurvivedtheRapture. 

These t-shirts are a GOLD MINE and I congratulate their creator for a job well done with this brilliant sales idea. These rather creative t-shirts feature the saying "I SURVIVED THE RAPTURE 5.21.11" and "my grandma was RAPTURED and all I got was this t-shirt. 5.21.11" These shirts are absolutely brilliant, and the color combos aren't too bad either:

Come on, those shirts are insane! Better believe I'm going to buy one.

Anywho, kittens, in association with this fabulous t-shirt company is Sunshine Acres Childrens' Home. Portions of the proceeds collected by these t-shirt sales go DIRECTLY to this wonderful orphanage! Founded by Rev. Jim and Vera Dingman in 1954, Sunshine Acres has been home to more than 1600 children and they're run on DONATIONS ALONE!

These kids and this place wouldn't make it without the help of ordinary people!

So why not grab yourself this HILARIOUS t-shirt and help kids too? Sounds like a good trade off to me! I'm buying 5!

 Ciao, Kittens

Okay, I Need To Clarify Some Shit...

Question and Answer Time.

Yes, the below questions are real questions asked by friends about my life and said choices and such. YES these were my real responses.

Are you part of PETA or something?

Um, NO, I am not a PETArd. I am an animal rights activist and that is usually as far as it goes.

Why do you value the lives of animals more than people?

This question is implying that animals aren't people.

Just answer the question, Kit.

It isn't that I value animals' lives more, it's simply that animals cannot speak... They cannot sit in a shelter and tell the workers "I have a human, her name is BlahBlahBlah and her phone number is BlahBlahBlah". They can't tell the hunter they have families to care for. They can't tell the abuser that they're in pain, nor can they tell the dogfighter that they're done fighting. Animals need a voice, and the fact that I can give them one is why I work harder for them than I do for humans.

If your mom and a dog were on the traintracks about to get hit by a train, honestly, who would you save?

The dog.

No, Kit, be real here. What would you do?

I'd pick up the dog first, then shove my mom out of the way. She's a big girl, I'm sure she knows to move away from the train.

I've only seen you have compassion for animals, like, you don't care about humans. I've never seen you compassionate about anything or anyone else besides your close family. What's up with that?

Umm... Excuse moi? I have compassion only for animals... Okay, I can see where you get that. HOWEVER, that is most certainly not the case. Simply because I'm more likely to pass a suffering human than a suffering animal does not make me non-compassionate towards humans. Humans, in their nature, are more adaptable than most pets now-a-days. If a human is left on the street, he or she has the means to find a way to take care of his or her self.

If a pet (young or old) is dumped, they don't know what to do. All they've known is to have a human care for them, but when no one is there they will starve, be hit by cars, attacked by the strays who grew up without humans, etc. Animals have no chance at life without humans. I see all the bullshit in the world, I'm not ignorant. I know people around the world are dying of starvation, disease, war, infections, and natural disasters... but I can't change that. Animals are dying of the same things, however, they have one more on their list... Man.

Animals are forced to live in fear of the people who were put here to take care of them. Animals, just like children, depend on humans to take care of them. Humans can take care of themselves, so I tend to drop the issue on them more often than not... That does not mean I don't care. That does not mean that I don't live in pain every day knowing that people around the world are suffering and hurting just as our animals are.

I am compassionate towards all. Not just you. Not just me. Not just the animals. All.

Okay kittens, my little vent is over. Those questions just rather irked me today so I had to vent. Meow, kittens.

DOG WARS... Are you kidding me, Google?!

Android, who is owned by Google, has available in the Android Market a new downloadable game application for your phone called DOG WARS (developed by Kage Games LLC). This is a DOG FIGHTING GAME. The player feeds, waters, trains and FIGHTS the virtual dog for virtual money. It is clear to me that the people at Google/Android /Kage Games think dog fighting is a joke and that perpetuating the myth that pit bulls are inherently aggressive has no repercussions.


Call to Action: Contact the Android market team here and email press@google.com to demand this disgusting application be banned from the Android Market.
REPEATEDLY EMAIL until they take this application off the market.
This kind of stereotyping is responsible for countless deaths of loving, gentle and well adjusted pit bulls across the country. These innocent dogs suffer and die in shelters because it gives false verification to the public that pit bull type dogs are vicious. The people at Google/Android and Kage Games are too daft to realize that aggression is not a breed issue, it is a dog issue. Any dog breed can be "trained" to behave aggressively. This fact has been supported time and again.

The developers state on the game description page; "If you have a bug up your b*tt about the game concept, remember: It is just A VIDEO GAME…" It is not just a video game, it is irresponsible and devastating to the animals that are victims of this abuse. The animal abusers who participate in dog fights starve, beat and train the dogs to behave aggressively to both animals and people.

Fighting dogs are kept isolated from other dogs
Fighting dogs spend most of their lives on short, heavy chains, often just out of reach of other dogs.
Fighting dogs may also be given a variety of legal and illegal drugs, including anabolic steroids to enhance muscle mass and encourage aggressiveness.

Narcotic drugs may also be used to increase the dogs’ aggression, increase reactivity and mask pain or fear during a fight. Young animals are often trained or tested by allowing them to fight with other dogs in well-controlled "rolls." Those who show little inclination to fight may be discarded or killed. Some fighters will use stolen pets as "bait dogs," or sparring partners.

Fighting dogs used by all types of fighters may have their ears cropped and tails docked close to their bodies. This serves two purposes. First, it limits the areas of the body that another dog can grab onto in a fight, and second, it makes it more difficult for other dogs to read the animal’s mood and intentions through the normal body language cues dogs use in aggressive encounters. Fighters usually perform this cropping/docking themselves using crude and inhumane techniques.

My question is: They say it's "just a game"...so, if a video game were to depict rape or other such things with yourself as the rapist, would that game be justified as well? Think about that. If you are opposed to the promotion of dog fighting as a game, sign this petition.  It’s already got about 7700 signatures.

Marine David Motari FINALLY Discharged

Infamous SOB (and no, I do not mean “son of a butcher” a’la WAR) David Motari has finally been discharged (presumably dishonorably) from the Marines. For those of you unfamiliar with this situation, here is the video which got him in trouble.

Warning: if you are easily upset by animal cruelty, DO NOT watch this video.

GRAPHIC

My question is, what the hell is going on in that man’s head, that he thinks torturing and killing a puppy is okay?

Here is his explanation:

    "And this is the shit if I have to put up with everywhere I’ve gone today. Believe me, I’ve heard it all. The thing that you guys don’t understand is that you’re not out there.

    What, you expect me to carry a stray sick dog from patrol 10+ miles back to camp with me. Did you know that we’re not supposed to have dogs? Did you know that there isn’t medicine available for animals out there? So what the fuck do you want me to do with it. It was going to die a slow and horrible death.

    Sorry you guys saw that, but it wasn’t supposed to ever been shown. Usually what happens is we shoot them. I was being “creative” that day and decided to throw the dog instead. If i could take it back, I would. Either way, I did the dog a favor. Sorry if you can’t understand that."

Actually, we understand completely why you threw a puppy off a cliff and laughed about it. You are a psychopath. See? That wasn’t at all hard to understand. As for “what the fuck do you want me to do with it”, let’s try a simple “not throw it off a cliff, Shit For Brains.”

The only thing left to ponder is whether Motari intentionally killed innocent human beings in Iraq and Afghanistan. I can’t help but assume he did, since those who get their jollies by torturing animals also tend to torture people.

Oh, well. At least his mommy had nice things to say about him.

    "A moment of using bad judgment does not portray the true character or integrity of my son David. It does not show that when he was home on leave, the last thing he would do was buy soft dog food for our aging dog ‘Bear.’

    It does not show the kind and gentle heart of a young man who served his country for 3½ years of his life. Nor does it show the battles he fought in Afghanistan or Iraq; that he fought for the freedom of the people of Afghanistan, Iraq and the United States of America!

    The video released does not alter our opinion of him. The sun rises in the morning and sets in the evening,” the statement read. “Life goes on no matter how much grief we may be in. My son’s life will go on as will ours."

Actually, Mama Motari, it does indeed show your son’s character.

He is a vile, disgusting human being, and chances are he’s that way because you raised him to think he can do no wrong. Had you raised your son to be a caring individual, chances are that none of this would have happened.

Internet Dating...Really?!

Okay, my kittens, the rapid growth of "internet dating sites" has recently come to my attention.

Why, oh why, can't people get the fuck out of their shell just go out and mingle? Is it really that hard to find someone locally? Um, no.

I've lived in the same town all my life. I'm not the most gorgeous girl in the world, nor am I the most outgoing/smart/talented or any combination of those traits.

However in the past 3 years I've managed to bag myself four men of ingenious quality.

How?

By not going online and actually exploring and looking at the menu.

That's how.

Women; not all men think your fat, not all men think you're stupid, not all men are utter asshats. So get off your asses and mingle.

Men; not all girls need you to be super buff and handsome for them to consider you, and you don't necessarily need to be uber successful either. Go for the homely girl, because she's more likely to treat you right than some skinny model you pick up cuz she's easy.

Now, time for a confessional.

I am guilty of dating online.

Shocking, I know, my pets.

It was unintentional and in no way did I want such a relationship to spawn... but it did.

It didn't last.

Big shocker there, eh folks?

Not really. Bottom line, internet dating sites have a 1 : 1,670 chance of working out. eHarmony, Match, Chemistry, PlentyofFish, they're all bullshit with their commercials. Those couples? Honey, they're fakers actors.

Get a grip. Dating sites are for losers. YOU my kittens, are not losers.

So go mingle, get spanked, and have a drink on the house.



So, I'm a Liar, and You're a Slut.

Well, my kittens, I must say that catching someone in a lie is rather funny.

However, when catching someone in a scandelous lie about their sex life...

That is hilarious.

Facebook is a wonderful way to keep in contact with your friends, it's an even better way to pry into their lives and dig out their dirty secrets. It's great decoding messages between your BFF and her man-friend.

*sighs and smirks*
I win.

So whilst chatting with said BFF, let's call her Minnie, I asked how her toy was, lets call him... Bub. Yes, Bub.

Minnie: He's good, I think.

Kat: You think?

Minnie: Well, yeah.

Kat: So, the sex isn't great?

Minnie: What?!

Kat: *smirking behind the computer screen* The "dull, boring, unenthusiastic, unpleasureful sex"

Minnie: We haven't had sex yet, Kat.

Kat: Did you tell that to your other three boyfriends too?

Minnie: You know I'm only with Bub.

Kat: *grinning* So... Caleb, Raul, and Eric... not playthings? I'll go ask.

Minnie: You're a liar, you better not spread that around.

Kat: I may be a liar, but you're a slut.

And still, we're BFFs. It's great, and I love teasing her about her... well... less than monogomous ways.

Just thought I'd share that lovely convo with you all, my kittens, since I haven't written in a while.

MEPS And the Military... I'm In.

So, after two excrutiatingly long days, I'm finally home.

Left for San Jose, CA Tuesday at noon, got to MEPS (Military Entrance Processing Station) around 3 o'clock.

Then, I got to take a 3 hour long test called the ASVAB (Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery) test. That was stupidly irritating. I really don't understand the point of that damned test. The english part was easy, the math part reminded me of 8th grade, and the other parts had to do with computers, mechanical systems and schematics, and some part where you had to follow instructions on connecting various pieces labeled with letters... in your head.

Like, it had a box with random shapes and lines, each had a letter in a certain spot. You had to figure out what it would look like put together, and select the answer that matched the end result. It was frustrating as all hell.

Once that was done (I got a 67 out of 99...by the by) I got to wait another 2 hours with my recruit mates for the shuttle to our hotel.

Mind you, the hotel was nice, and my room mate was... strange to say the least. The food was decent. (Definitely not the best burger I've ever had in my life)

Anywho, had to be in bed by 10, then up at 3 AM. Yep, you heard me. Three in the fucking morning.

So, got up, ate nasty eggs and under-toasted toast, then got on the bus with the rest of the recruits back to MEPS for our medical processing.

This lovely part consisted of an Audio/Hearing Test, Sight/Depth Perception Test, blood testing (for HIV), urine testing (for drugs), a breathalyzer test, and a full physical.

Yep, got my lady parts poked and prodded as well.

At the end of the physical you get your height and weight (duh), and I just about had a nervous breakdown.

So, we all know I'm not in the best shape ever, and I found out I'm 10 lbs over the weight limit. (No, I won't tell you how much I weigh.)

They left me in the physician's room so they could go eat lunch. Assholes. I sat there for 20 minutes, stripped to my undergarments, and freezing. They were going to take my measurements and figure out my body fat percentage. (Had to be under 36% or I'd be disqualified.)

I cried. This Navy thing was the first time my dad EVER really said he was proud of me...(and meant it) I freaked out because, hell, if I didn't make it... what would he say? Was I just going to be the failure he'd always knew I was? Would he bring out his famous, "Have fun working at McDonald's." line?

However, this story has a, decently happy ending. I ended up being 33% body fat, which means I need to drop 10 lbs before my ship date... on March 22nd.

I'm leaving early, y'all. Wish me luck.

Superstition Always Gets the Best of Me

--------------><--------------

This card.

This one.

Right here.

This one is scaring me shitless.

Why, you ask?

Well.

Let me give you it's meaning:

Failure to put plans into action. Striving for unattainable goals. Lack of communication between dreams and reality. Failure of a promising looking enterprise. Great plans that do not come to fruition. A retreat from reality into fantasy.

Are you fucking kidding me?

It's the DAY OF my meeting with my Navy recruiter (who will be joined by my father[ex-navy], and my lovely fiance). Is this some sort of bad omen that I shouldn't go?

Damn you facebook and your Tarot Card of the Day App!

Okay, breathe. (Not like I could go without doing that -_-;;)

Most likely I'm just being a superstitious cunt and I need to relax.

But... what if I'm not? What if this really is some sign for me not to even try?

Me? Not try? HA!

Okay, mini-rant is over. Ciao lovlies.



Ahoy, Sailor....ette?



So, my lovlies, your Alley Kat is more than likely going into the U.S. Navy.

Shocking, isn't it? Shocking to me too, considering I've never really wanted to be a military girl. However, current events are making me choose...

Either I go, get great benefits, great pay, pretty much a free house, I get to travel the world at the government's expense, I'd have a guaranteed job once I serve my term...

Or I don't go, end up (more than likely) not going to school, working at this same job that I despise so much, never really being able to get anywhere in life, I'd struggle...

Right now, military is looking pretty nice.

Before I make any real decisions, lets look at the pros and cons of going, shall we?

Pros:
     -great pay
(portion goes to me, other portion goes to my significant other)
     -great benefits
(for both of us once we get married)
     -basically free house once I serve my term
     -full retirement at 40 if I stay in service for 20 years
     -free travel, see the world at no cost to me
     -job/field training for almost guaranteed job once out of service
     -be able to provide a better life for my furture family

Cons:
     -be away from loved ones for multiple weeks/months at a time
     -good chance I won't be able to handle boot camp
(I don't like being yelled at, and I'm not in the best  shape)
     -no phone/internet at boot camp, which is 2 months long
(oh how will I survive?!)

     -significant other might...might...get so bored and lonely that he may look for attention else where

(oh god I hope not)

Honestly, thats all I can think of, and I think the pros list is outweighing the cons.

Big time.

Let me be straight... I'm scared shitless to leave, I don't want to leave... But... if going into the military means I can give myself, Devin, and Molly a better life and a brighter, more comfortable future, then fuck... Why not...?

They Were the Three Bears... I was Goldilocks.



Ever had that moment when you just KNOW something is going to go wrong? When the hairs on the back of your neck stand up for no apparent reason? Well, I've had plenty of those moments.

Moments where you feel like your being watched.
Moments when you can't sit still.
Moments when you realize that something isn't right.

Been there, done that.

Growing up I was always the odd one out, but though highschool, I became the one everyone knew, everyone liked, everyone came to for advice, for company, for a good laugh. I wasn't the outcast anymore, or so I thought.

Only after graduation did I realize that my "friends" were full of bullshit. That I was being used and taken advantage of by people who didn't give two rats' asses about me.

That moment when your fears, Happen.

When the people you held dear finally turn their backs on you and leave you to the wolves. It hurts, and leaves you paralyzed. Only when someone proves they care can the paralysis leave. Lucky for me, someone picked me back up out of the nothingness.

I know I'm not the most eloquent writer, nor do I really have that, "pull-you-in" type of writing, but I do know that I can write in a way, and about certain topics, that get to people.

Some of my posts are funny, I know, but many of them are much darker, much more emotional, much more down to earth. I'm not sure where I was going with this post, I guess its just random ramblings as I sit at work and bore myself, maybe its more, who knows?

Peace, Love, and Chicken Grease

So... surprise butt sex anyone?

 By popular demand, I was asked to write/rant about anal sex... Yeah, no idea how to start this one off. But I have to say! BEFORE YOU EVEN ATTEMPT IT, THERE ARE GUIDELINES. If you do it wrong, you could seriously injure the catcher. Ask any gay bottom, he will vouch for that statement.

First off, CLEAN YOUR BUTT. No one wants a chilidog.
Secondly, use LOTS of lube. Seriously, going in dry can cause tearing and is VERY uncomfortable for the catcher, and is usually uncomfortable for the pitcher as well.
Thirdly, GO SLOW. It's not a race to get the entire length in at once. Seriously, it really hurts if its just rammed in. If it still hurts with the slow pace, try loosening yourself (or have your partner loosen you) up with a finger or two, it helps in the long run.

Okay, now I get to rant about stupidity when it comes to this crap. GUYS: Realize that not every girl starves herself for two days and then takes a laxative before anal sex. So GIVE HER A BREAK. Because when you make a big deal out of it, it will embarrass her and she'll be likely to never do it again. GIRLS: Realize that not every guy KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING BACK THERE. Be a back-seat driver and instruct him, TELL HIM if it hurts. Don't let him tear you a new one (no pun intended) without repercussion... unless you're into that sort of shit. Then by all means.

Now guys, another thing, NO ONE CARES IF YOU GOT YOUR GIRL TO DO ANAL SO STFU AND STOP TELLING YOUR FRIENDS. Believe it or not, a lot of guys find that ridiculously nasty, and they'll find you trashy and immature for being so ecstatic about it. Girls, same for you. Don't go telling all your friends about it because, more often that not, they'll be calling you a slut behind your loose end. Now guys, again, if you're straight, but have a thing for wanting your girl to finger your ass whilst giving you a handjob, PLEASE have the decency to SHAVE back there or something. SERIOUSLY, no girl wants to have to comb through a jungle just to play with something that smells worse than moldy cheese.

Okay, I'm done. Peace, love, and chicken grease.

Blogging... Let's try this.



I've never been an avid blogger. My last blog was deleted after 3 posts. I've never been one to express my daily doings with wit and style put into writing, simply because I'm not the wittiest girl nor do I have much style to anything I do. However, since graduating from highschool, my friends and I have been so far out of each others' loops, I figure this would be the easiest way to keep in touch and share epic stories. Mine, however, will be much less epic than those of my friends I'm sure. I guess I never really got the point of blogging before; was the point to simply write down random things that you did during the day? Seemed kind of pointless to me to begin with, but I guess its not completely pointless, as I can see now. Blogging is a way to express yourself, a venting point for everything that mattered to you that day. I think I'll give this a good try, and, despite work, I will do my best to post something, anything, on a daily basis. I know I won't have many followers, and those who are following me will probably be my close friends who have nothing better to do with their day. (You know who you are.)

So, since I'd like to be a little unique, message me on FB about a topic that my next post should be about. I'll rant/discuss my favorite later today.