Internet Dating...Really?!

Okay, my kittens, the rapid growth of "internet dating sites" has recently come to my attention.

Why, oh why, can't people get the fuck out of their shell just go out and mingle? Is it really that hard to find someone locally? Um, no.

I've lived in the same town all my life. I'm not the most gorgeous girl in the world, nor am I the most outgoing/smart/talented or any combination of those traits.

However in the past 3 years I've managed to bag myself four men of ingenious quality.

How?

By not going online and actually exploring and looking at the menu.

That's how.

Women; not all men think your fat, not all men think you're stupid, not all men are utter asshats. So get off your asses and mingle.

Men; not all girls need you to be super buff and handsome for them to consider you, and you don't necessarily need to be uber successful either. Go for the homely girl, because she's more likely to treat you right than some skinny model you pick up cuz she's easy.

Now, time for a confessional.

I am guilty of dating online.

Shocking, I know, my pets.

It was unintentional and in no way did I want such a relationship to spawn... but it did.

It didn't last.

Big shocker there, eh folks?

Not really. Bottom line, internet dating sites have a 1 : 1,670 chance of working out. eHarmony, Match, Chemistry, PlentyofFish, they're all bullshit with their commercials. Those couples? Honey, they're fakers actors.

Get a grip. Dating sites are for losers. YOU my kittens, are not losers.

So go mingle, get spanked, and have a drink on the house.