9/11 Rant - "Fuck You, America."

Dear Citizens of the United States of America,

During this time that we remember the September 11th, 2001 terrorist attacks, I'd like to share a few thoughts with you. Firstly, fuck you America. Fuck you to the "victims" that died on that day. Fuck you to all of you who say that 9/11 was "such a tragedy."

Secondly, a bit of a history lesson to help explain why I feel the way I feel about this...

From the moment we signed the Declaration of Independence in 1776 until this very second as I type this, we as a country have done nothing but stick our noses where they don't belong. Not just the Government either. All of you are guilty, but I'll start with the Government. I won't go too far back into history because that would just be boring, so I'll start with the Korean War and I'll keep it simple so that whatever retards are reading this can actually understand what I'm saying. Our involvement with the Korean War began in the early 50's (At the same time we were getting involved with the Vietnam War, but I'll get to that in a minute), and our only purpose in the Korean War was basically to help South Korea fight the big bad bully which was, naturally, North Korea. That's it. That's the only reason we were there. Nobody threatened us, nobody attacked us, nobody sent over suicide bombers to blow us up, there was absolutely no reason for us to be there except to stick our fucking noses into someone else's business. The Korean War resulted in the deaths of 36,516 American military personnel. Not just combat troops either, this includes military medical personnel, photographers, cooks, supply transporters, etc. etc. All because America...could not stay the fuck out of another country's business.

Then we have the Vietnam War. I mentioned this earlier, so let me explain what I was referring to. Many of you uneducated morons believe that we got involved with the Vietnam War in the 60's, which isn't true. We had military combat forces overseas involved with other military confrontations at the time, and we started sending combat troops to South Vietnam in the 60's, but our real involvement in that war began as early as 1950 when we had advisors on the ground. Why were we involved in that war? That one is simple: Because we were helping to defend South Vietnam from North Vietnam. That's it. That's all. Nothing more to it. That war, which we lost, resulted in the deaths of 58,159 American troops, with over 1,000 missing. Once again, because America could not stay the fuck out of another country's business.

The Gulf War, also known as Desert Storm. I won't get too much into this because those of us old enough to actually remember that war, and smart enough to look into it after it ended, we know that the war wasn't "political" at all. We weren't really defending Kuwait, we weren't really mad at Iraq, we just wanted their oil. It really is that simple. Bush #1 felt like being a bully and decided to send troops overseas to see what he can gain. If you doubt this, then ask yourself this question: If America was really concerned with the well-being of Kuwait, then why didn't Bush send troops there as soon as Iraq invaded Kuwait? Why did he wait 6-7 months after the fact before he sent troops to Kuwait? Exactly. That war cost us around $40B, and resulted in the deaths of 294 American soldiers. All because ... America could not ... stay the fuck out ... of another country's business AND because of our own greed.

WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION!!! WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION, I TELL YOU!!! WMD'S! THEY HAVE THEM! THEY REALLY, REEEALLLY DOOO!! SADDAM & THE IRAQI TERRORISTS!! THEY ATTACKED US ON 9/11!!! Actually, no, Iraq never had any weapons of mass destruction. Never. They weren't financially or materialistically capable of producing weapons of mass destruction, nuclear or otherwise. They never attacked us, never threatened to attack us, never made a secret attempt to attack us...they took absolutely no part whatsoever in the events that took place on 9/11. But we launched an unprovoked attack on them anyway and used 9/11 as an excuse for Bush #2 to go finish what daddy could not finish the first time around, which was get their oil. Or, try to get their oil anyway. We start (yes, start) a war with Iraq like the fucking bullies that we are and we slap a bullshit label on it, "Operation Iraqi Freedom," and in the process we take a nation's leader and hang the fucking guy, and for what? What the fuck did this dude EVER do to America and/or Americans? NOTHING. That's what. We wanted to get Saddam out of the way so that we'd have full access to his oil which WE NEVER FUCKING GOT ANYWAY because the American people eventually figured out what the war was REALLY about. The Government could no longer make 200,000+ barrels of oil appear out of thin air and lie about it because now the American people were onto them and we'd know the fucking truth. It wasn't our fucking business to go over and hang a leader based solely on the fact that we wanted "revenge" for an act of violence that HE DIDN'T COMMIT and/or because we wanted his fucking oil. It wasn't our place. Period. But we did it anyway, and as a result more than 4,000 American troops have lost their lives. Why? Because America wanted something that it did not already have enough of (oil) and they needed a reason to take out Saddam in order to attempt getting it. Thank you, American Government, for putting your own greedy wants before the lives and well-being of your own people. You're a real pal.

Do you people see the pattern yet? It's obvious, is it not? Good, because now comes the bashing of all of you...

Yes, what happened on 9/11 was indeed a tragedy, but the tragedy wasn't the actual attack. No sirs and ma'ams, it was not. The tragedy was the fact that it took the events of 9/11 to temporarily unite you fucking people. As soon as the attacks happened, suddenly everyone had their redneck bumper stickers that read: UNITED WE STAND. DIVIDED WE FALL. Remember that? Everyone was putting American flag stickers on their windows, flag decals on their jackets and gym bags and even the Arabs who lived in America were suddenly flying American flags in their front yards because everyone was oh so fucking united. You remember, I know you do. Well it's all bullshit. Every ounce of it, it's nothing but fucking bullshit. If Americans were ever really united, they would have been united long before these attacks took place. It would not have taken these attacks to unite you morons because you would have already been united if you were *truly* united, yes? It's fucking pathetic that it takes a terrorist attack for Americans to actually help one another. American Unity, that's a fucking joke.

It's funny how this "unity" that we supposedly gained after 9/11 only seemed to last a couple of years and then it was back to business as usual in America. Whites hating the blacks and blacks hating the whites and straights hating gays and the gays hating straights *because* the straights hate them and the Republicans hating Democrats and Liberals hating the Independents and the poor hating the rich for what they have and the rich despising the poor for what they don't have and the kids hating the parents and the parents blaming the teachers for their kids' lack of education when it's the fault of BOTH parties and the Government lying to the public and the public hating the Government and and AND....back to fucking business as usual in the good ole' U.S. of A.

Unity. Please, don't make me fucking vomit. You idiots couldn't unify if I drew you a fucking connect-the-dots map. All that you care about is your X-boxes and your Playstations and your cars and your money and your house and your watches and your superficial girlfriends with the artificial tits and the "Made in China" melted Barbie doll look, you care about yourselves. Nobody else. You all talk about "Freedom of Speech" and you preach about the first amendment every time you feel your rights have been violated but you're so fucking quick to deny gays and lesbians the equal right to marriage, you're so quick to deny women equal wages, or deny blacks (not niggers, but actual black people who work for a living and support their families) the equal right to vote in this country. Yes, you read this correctly, the equal right to vote in America. In 2010 blacks were still being discriminated against at the voting booths. It's fucking pathetic. You can't even go to fucking Wal-Mart on "Black Friday" to shop without acting like God damn animals and stampeding through the door as soon as it opens, trampling over the worker and KILLING THE FUCKING GUY because God for fucking bid you don't get your spoiled-rotten kids their new game system after they've gone all year treating you like shit. You're a great role model, aye?

This is your unity. This is what you're so proud of. THIS IS WHAT YOU HAVE DEFINED AS "BEING AMERICAN."

America, you make me sick. I love my country but I hate the people in it.

Stop calling 9/11 an "unprovoked attack," because in all actuality it's the exact opposite of that. Our repeated need to stick our noses where they don't belong, our greed, our ignorance, our arrogance, our belief that we are the greatest force on Earth and therefore we can throw our muscle around and bully other countries into conforming to what WE believe is a "better way of life," THAT is what provoked the September 11th attacks. You have done this to yourselves. Don't blame Al-Qaeda. Don't blame Osama Bin Laden. Don't blame Muslims....

Take a long look in the mirror, and blame yourselves.

We deserved what happened on 9/11, and we deserve any future acts of terrorism committed against this country. Until Americans can take their heads out of their own asses, I'll be hoping that the terrorists keep trying.

Also, stop referring to the people that died that day as "innocent victims." Nobody in this world is innocent. Not you, not me, not your mother, not your kids, nobody. For all you know, those people could have been child molesters, rapists, murderers, drunk drivers, cokeheads, people who abused their spouses, anything. Must I remind you of BTK? That motherfucker blended in with society for decades while he secretly murdered dozens of people. How the fuck do any of you know that none of the people who died that day were just like him? YOU FUCKING DON'T. They were NOT "innocent victims."

Now they tell us they've killed Osama. The Government tells us this. The same Government which has lied to us too many times to count. The same Government that most of the people in this country admit they don't trust. The same Government that mislead us into believing that Saddam Hussein was behind the 9/11 attacks. The same Government that illegally tapped the phone lines of hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of Americans. The same Government that cares not about you or your family, but only about your vote and their own piggy bank. The same Government that is too concerned with bickering over whose party did what and pointing fingers at who's to blame for every problem under the Sun to put a decent effort into setting this country back on the right track. This is the Government that claims to have killed Osama Bin Laden. And you people bought into it. They fed you horseshit and you just ate it up like camel cum to a starving Afghan. You gullible motherfuckers just took that shit at face value and never questioned it. You were all so quick to jump on the "We killed Osama" bandwagon to even notice the all-too coincidental timing of this so-called "killing." Barack Obama's approval ratings at that time were at an all-time low, and at near historic lows. Not to mention that it was just before campaign time, yet no one thought to question whether or not this was just a ploy to boost his own approval ratings and help win him the next election. Except for myself, of course, and the intelligent people that I associate with both on and off the Internet. Everyone else just accepted it. And why not? I mean, after all, this is America. Land of the sheep, home of the gullible. Charlie Chaplin once said that "Man as an individual is a genius. But men in the mass form the headless monster, a great, brutish idiot that goes where prodded;" And you've all gone where prodded.

Even if, and this is a big IF, we did in fact kill Osama Bin Laden, hooray for us. Congratulations, men and women of the U.S. Armed Forces, for you have finally tracked down and killed a sickly man who was on the verge of dying anyway. Does this make you proud? Does it feel good to kill a guy who was already on his deathbed? Is this what the U.S. Military is teaching you people now? That if you wait out the "bad guys" long enough, you can eventually wear them down to the point of exhaustion, thus giving you the chance to finally catch up with them, kill them, and make yourselves look like heroes? I love how "highly trained" you shitheads are. You're fucking pathetic. It took you and the Government ten years, TEN fucking years, to find a guy who was gradually getting sicker...and sicker...and sicker. What's next? Are you going to raid the nearest nursing home and start killing off the elderly? Because let's be honest, that's pretty much all that you did with Osama...assuming that Osama was really killed.

And by the way, stop referring to the firemen, police and EMS workers who took part in the events that day as "heroes." They aren't heroes. They were employees, nothing more. I really hope that you people walk into a store to get coffee and when leaving, you say to the cashier, "Thanks a lot. I mean that. You're such a hero to this nation." I hope you say the same to the guy who pumps your gas, and to the postman, or your kids' teachers. Wait, you mean you don't? Why not? They're doing their jobs, which apparently is enough to make someone a fucking hero in this country. And that's all the first responders that day were doing. Their jobs. The jobs for which they are paid. Paid. That's the key word there. Real heroes don't get compensated for performing heroic deeds. By calling these people heroes, you do nothing but cheapen the word and therefore take away from what real heroes are. If you want to see a real hero, go find some single parents that are working two jobs, struggling to make ends meet (yet, are making the ends meet nonetheless), saving money so that their kids can have a college fund, and are still able to raise their kids properly. You want heroes? Those people are heroes. Teachers who don't just teach in class, but go above and beyond the classroom and spend unpaid hours upon unpaid hours outside of the classroom with their students to do everything in their power to help these kids advance in life and understand the subjects they are having difficulties with. Those teachers, they're heroes. I can give many more examples of what constitutes real heroism. The 9/11 first responders are not included. Fuck, even the first responders themselves and all of the Military personnel involved that day will tell you that they don't consider themselves heroes. Also, I come from a family of Military personnel and EMS/Medical professionals, and I can STILL say they aren't heroes. So fuck you.

"Never forget." What exactly is it that we're supposed to not be forgetting? I honestly can't even tell, because for 51 weeks out of the year you'd never know that this country was attacked by terrorists unless you either knew someone who died that day, or like me, you spend your time making fun of it. You people go about your daily lives like nothing ever happened, until the week of the anniversary rolls around, then suddenly, you all go right back to being "sad and sympathetic" towards the family and friends of those who were lost. Then after the week of "remembrance" is over with, you people go back to molesting your daughters, cheating on your husbands/wives, beating your kids, stealing from your jobs, lying on your IRS forms, raping each other, killing each other, etc. fucking etc. And acting like 9/11 never happened. Fucking frauds. It's almost like the media has to shove it down your fucking throats to make you people talk about it. I'm not saying you should sit around and dwell on it all the time, but God damn, if you're going to claim that you'll "never forget such a tragedy," then you might want to try talking about it more than once a fucking year. You miserable pieces of shit. You people disgust me.

I hope, with everything that I have, that somewhere in a cave right now, Osama Bin Laden is still alive, and I hope that he is reading this. I have a few words that I'd like to say to him...

Mr. Bin Laden, from the bottom of my heart, I sincerely thank you. Thank you for shoving this bully that we call America on the fucking ground and kicking the shit out of it. Thank you for your attempts to show America that we need to wake the hell up before it's too late (although, good sir, you have definitely failed at that.) Not only did you help to control the overpopulation problem that we have on this planet by doing what you did, but you have taken part in teaching these fucking morons one of the most important lessons they'll ever learn: America can be touched. America can be penetrated. America can easily be knocked off its pedestal. America is NOT the perfect nation we thought it was. It never has been, it still isn't today, and it never will be.

America...should take nothing for granted.

Sincerely,
Kitty Crossbone

P.S.
Stop saying that the people who died "gave their lives" that day. They didn't wake up anticipating the attacks. They didn't "give their lives," their lives were taken. Learn the fucking difference, you ass maggots. They didn't go to work with "Please Pick Me" signs on their fucking backs, did they? No? I thought not. They didn't give shit. You know who did give their lives, though? The terrorists. They're the only people who died that day that had actually planned to die and therefore they are the ones who gave their lives. The other people were just dumb as hell for not calling out sick.

And that's all that I have to say about that. Now if you'll excuse me, I have more "Thank you" letters to write Al-Qaeda.

(Yes, I am aware that I did not mention every single military conflict that we've had. Why not? Because the mention of every one wasn't needed in order to make my point. So, shut the fuck up and deal with it.)

May 21st Raptures Bring May 22nd T-shirts!

Okay, for one, I congratulate you for not being raptured.

For two, I'm saddened that my night of rapture looting had to be backtracked, and everything had to be returned.

However, my kittens, I'm going to splurge on some memorabilia for this post-rapture day.

Did YOU survive the rapture?

(Obviously, since you're reading this.)

Well, iSurvivedtheRapture. 

These t-shirts are a GOLD MINE and I congratulate their creator for a job well done with this brilliant sales idea. These rather creative t-shirts feature the saying "I SURVIVED THE RAPTURE 5.21.11" and "my grandma was RAPTURED and all I got was this t-shirt. 5.21.11" These shirts are absolutely brilliant, and the color combos aren't too bad either:

Come on, those shirts are insane! Better believe I'm going to buy one.

Anywho, kittens, in association with this fabulous t-shirt company is Sunshine Acres Childrens' Home. Portions of the proceeds collected by these t-shirt sales go DIRECTLY to this wonderful orphanage! Founded by Rev. Jim and Vera Dingman in 1954, Sunshine Acres has been home to more than 1600 children and they're run on DONATIONS ALONE!

These kids and this place wouldn't make it without the help of ordinary people!

So why not grab yourself this HILARIOUS t-shirt and help kids too? Sounds like a good trade off to me! I'm buying 5!

 Ciao, Kittens

Okay, I Need To Clarify Some Shit...

Question and Answer Time.

Yes, the below questions are real questions asked by friends about my life and said choices and such. YES these were my real responses.

Are you part of PETA or something?

Um, NO, I am not a PETArd. I am an animal rights activist and that is usually as far as it goes.

Why do you value the lives of animals more than people?

This question is implying that animals aren't people.

Just answer the question, Kit.

It isn't that I value animals' lives more, it's simply that animals cannot speak... They cannot sit in a shelter and tell the workers "I have a human, her name is BlahBlahBlah and her phone number is BlahBlahBlah". They can't tell the hunter they have families to care for. They can't tell the abuser that they're in pain, nor can they tell the dogfighter that they're done fighting. Animals need a voice, and the fact that I can give them one is why I work harder for them than I do for humans.

If your mom and a dog were on the traintracks about to get hit by a train, honestly, who would you save?

The dog.

No, Kit, be real here. What would you do?

I'd pick up the dog first, then shove my mom out of the way. She's a big girl, I'm sure she knows to move away from the train.

I've only seen you have compassion for animals, like, you don't care about humans. I've never seen you compassionate about anything or anyone else besides your close family. What's up with that?

Umm... Excuse moi? I have compassion only for animals... Okay, I can see where you get that. HOWEVER, that is most certainly not the case. Simply because I'm more likely to pass a suffering human than a suffering animal does not make me non-compassionate towards humans. Humans, in their nature, are more adaptable than most pets now-a-days. If a human is left on the street, he or she has the means to find a way to take care of his or her self.

If a pet (young or old) is dumped, they don't know what to do. All they've known is to have a human care for them, but when no one is there they will starve, be hit by cars, attacked by the strays who grew up without humans, etc. Animals have no chance at life without humans. I see all the bullshit in the world, I'm not ignorant. I know people around the world are dying of starvation, disease, war, infections, and natural disasters... but I can't change that. Animals are dying of the same things, however, they have one more on their list... Man.

Animals are forced to live in fear of the people who were put here to take care of them. Animals, just like children, depend on humans to take care of them. Humans can take care of themselves, so I tend to drop the issue on them more often than not... That does not mean I don't care. That does not mean that I don't live in pain every day knowing that people around the world are suffering and hurting just as our animals are.

I am compassionate towards all. Not just you. Not just me. Not just the animals. All.

Okay kittens, my little vent is over. Those questions just rather irked me today so I had to vent. Meow, kittens.

DOG WARS... Are you kidding me, Google?!

Android, who is owned by Google, has available in the Android Market a new downloadable game application for your phone called DOG WARS (developed by Kage Games LLC). This is a DOG FIGHTING GAME. The player feeds, waters, trains and FIGHTS the virtual dog for virtual money. It is clear to me that the people at Google/Android /Kage Games think dog fighting is a joke and that perpetuating the myth that pit bulls are inherently aggressive has no repercussions.


Call to Action: Contact the Android market team here and email press@google.com to demand this disgusting application be banned from the Android Market.
REPEATEDLY EMAIL until they take this application off the market.
This kind of stereotyping is responsible for countless deaths of loving, gentle and well adjusted pit bulls across the country. These innocent dogs suffer and die in shelters because it gives false verification to the public that pit bull type dogs are vicious. The people at Google/Android and Kage Games are too daft to realize that aggression is not a breed issue, it is a dog issue. Any dog breed can be "trained" to behave aggressively. This fact has been supported time and again.

The developers state on the game description page; "If you have a bug up your b*tt about the game concept, remember: It is just A VIDEO GAME…" It is not just a video game, it is irresponsible and devastating to the animals that are victims of this abuse. The animal abusers who participate in dog fights starve, beat and train the dogs to behave aggressively to both animals and people.

Fighting dogs are kept isolated from other dogs
Fighting dogs spend most of their lives on short, heavy chains, often just out of reach of other dogs.
Fighting dogs may also be given a variety of legal and illegal drugs, including anabolic steroids to enhance muscle mass and encourage aggressiveness.

Narcotic drugs may also be used to increase the dogs’ aggression, increase reactivity and mask pain or fear during a fight. Young animals are often trained or tested by allowing them to fight with other dogs in well-controlled "rolls." Those who show little inclination to fight may be discarded or killed. Some fighters will use stolen pets as "bait dogs," or sparring partners.

Fighting dogs used by all types of fighters may have their ears cropped and tails docked close to their bodies. This serves two purposes. First, it limits the areas of the body that another dog can grab onto in a fight, and second, it makes it more difficult for other dogs to read the animal’s mood and intentions through the normal body language cues dogs use in aggressive encounters. Fighters usually perform this cropping/docking themselves using crude and inhumane techniques.

My question is: They say it's "just a game"...so, if a video game were to depict rape or other such things with yourself as the rapist, would that game be justified as well? Think about that. If you are opposed to the promotion of dog fighting as a game, sign this petition.  It’s already got about 7700 signatures.

Marine David Motari FINALLY Discharged

Infamous SOB (and no, I do not mean “son of a butcher” a’la WAR) David Motari has finally been discharged (presumably dishonorably) from the Marines. For those of you unfamiliar with this situation, here is the video which got him in trouble.

Warning: if you are easily upset by animal cruelty, DO NOT watch this video.

GRAPHIC

My question is, what the hell is going on in that man’s head, that he thinks torturing and killing a puppy is okay?

Here is his explanation:

    "And this is the shit if I have to put up with everywhere I’ve gone today. Believe me, I’ve heard it all. The thing that you guys don’t understand is that you’re not out there.

    What, you expect me to carry a stray sick dog from patrol 10+ miles back to camp with me. Did you know that we’re not supposed to have dogs? Did you know that there isn’t medicine available for animals out there? So what the fuck do you want me to do with it. It was going to die a slow and horrible death.

    Sorry you guys saw that, but it wasn’t supposed to ever been shown. Usually what happens is we shoot them. I was being “creative” that day and decided to throw the dog instead. If i could take it back, I would. Either way, I did the dog a favor. Sorry if you can’t understand that."

Actually, we understand completely why you threw a puppy off a cliff and laughed about it. You are a psychopath. See? That wasn’t at all hard to understand. As for “what the fuck do you want me to do with it”, let’s try a simple “not throw it off a cliff, Shit For Brains.”

The only thing left to ponder is whether Motari intentionally killed innocent human beings in Iraq and Afghanistan. I can’t help but assume he did, since those who get their jollies by torturing animals also tend to torture people.

Oh, well. At least his mommy had nice things to say about him.

    "A moment of using bad judgment does not portray the true character or integrity of my son David. It does not show that when he was home on leave, the last thing he would do was buy soft dog food for our aging dog ‘Bear.’

    It does not show the kind and gentle heart of a young man who served his country for 3½ years of his life. Nor does it show the battles he fought in Afghanistan or Iraq; that he fought for the freedom of the people of Afghanistan, Iraq and the United States of America!

    The video released does not alter our opinion of him. The sun rises in the morning and sets in the evening,” the statement read. “Life goes on no matter how much grief we may be in. My son’s life will go on as will ours."

Actually, Mama Motari, it does indeed show your son’s character.

He is a vile, disgusting human being, and chances are he’s that way because you raised him to think he can do no wrong. Had you raised your son to be a caring individual, chances are that none of this would have happened.

Internet Dating...Really?!

Okay, my kittens, the rapid growth of "internet dating sites" has recently come to my attention.

Why, oh why, can't people get the fuck out of their shell just go out and mingle? Is it really that hard to find someone locally? Um, no.

I've lived in the same town all my life. I'm not the most gorgeous girl in the world, nor am I the most outgoing/smart/talented or any combination of those traits.

However in the past 3 years I've managed to bag myself four men of ingenious quality.

How?

By not going online and actually exploring and looking at the menu.

That's how.

Women; not all men think your fat, not all men think you're stupid, not all men are utter asshats. So get off your asses and mingle.

Men; not all girls need you to be super buff and handsome for them to consider you, and you don't necessarily need to be uber successful either. Go for the homely girl, because she's more likely to treat you right than some skinny model you pick up cuz she's easy.

Now, time for a confessional.

I am guilty of dating online.

Shocking, I know, my pets.

It was unintentional and in no way did I want such a relationship to spawn... but it did.

It didn't last.

Big shocker there, eh folks?

Not really. Bottom line, internet dating sites have a 1 : 1,670 chance of working out. eHarmony, Match, Chemistry, PlentyofFish, they're all bullshit with their commercials. Those couples? Honey, they're fakers actors.

Get a grip. Dating sites are for losers. YOU my kittens, are not losers.

So go mingle, get spanked, and have a drink on the house.



So, I'm a Liar, and You're a Slut.

Well, my kittens, I must say that catching someone in a lie is rather funny.

However, when catching someone in a scandelous lie about their sex life...

That is hilarious.

Facebook is a wonderful way to keep in contact with your friends, it's an even better way to pry into their lives and dig out their dirty secrets. It's great decoding messages between your BFF and her man-friend.

*sighs and smirks*
I win.

So whilst chatting with said BFF, let's call her Minnie, I asked how her toy was, lets call him... Bub. Yes, Bub.

Minnie: He's good, I think.

Kat: You think?

Minnie: Well, yeah.

Kat: So, the sex isn't great?

Minnie: What?!

Kat: *smirking behind the computer screen* The "dull, boring, unenthusiastic, unpleasureful sex"

Minnie: We haven't had sex yet, Kat.

Kat: Did you tell that to your other three boyfriends too?

Minnie: You know I'm only with Bub.

Kat: *grinning* So... Caleb, Raul, and Eric... not playthings? I'll go ask.

Minnie: You're a liar, you better not spread that around.

Kat: I may be a liar, but you're a slut.

And still, we're BFFs. It's great, and I love teasing her about her... well... less than monogomous ways.

Just thought I'd share that lovely convo with you all, my kittens, since I haven't written in a while.

MEPS And the Military... I'm In.

So, after two excrutiatingly long days, I'm finally home.

Left for San Jose, CA Tuesday at noon, got to MEPS (Military Entrance Processing Station) around 3 o'clock.

Then, I got to take a 3 hour long test called the ASVAB (Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery) test. That was stupidly irritating. I really don't understand the point of that damned test. The english part was easy, the math part reminded me of 8th grade, and the other parts had to do with computers, mechanical systems and schematics, and some part where you had to follow instructions on connecting various pieces labeled with letters... in your head.

Like, it had a box with random shapes and lines, each had a letter in a certain spot. You had to figure out what it would look like put together, and select the answer that matched the end result. It was frustrating as all hell.

Once that was done (I got a 67 out of 99...by the by) I got to wait another 2 hours with my recruit mates for the shuttle to our hotel.

Mind you, the hotel was nice, and my room mate was... strange to say the least. The food was decent. (Definitely not the best burger I've ever had in my life)

Anywho, had to be in bed by 10, then up at 3 AM. Yep, you heard me. Three in the fucking morning.

So, got up, ate nasty eggs and under-toasted toast, then got on the bus with the rest of the recruits back to MEPS for our medical processing.

This lovely part consisted of an Audio/Hearing Test, Sight/Depth Perception Test, blood testing (for HIV), urine testing (for drugs), a breathalyzer test, and a full physical.

Yep, got my lady parts poked and prodded as well.

At the end of the physical you get your height and weight (duh), and I just about had a nervous breakdown.

So, we all know I'm not in the best shape ever, and I found out I'm 10 lbs over the weight limit. (No, I won't tell you how much I weigh.)

They left me in the physician's room so they could go eat lunch. Assholes. I sat there for 20 minutes, stripped to my undergarments, and freezing. They were going to take my measurements and figure out my body fat percentage. (Had to be under 36% or I'd be disqualified.)

I cried. This Navy thing was the first time my dad EVER really said he was proud of me...(and meant it) I freaked out because, hell, if I didn't make it... what would he say? Was I just going to be the failure he'd always knew I was? Would he bring out his famous, "Have fun working at McDonald's." line?

However, this story has a, decently happy ending. I ended up being 33% body fat, which means I need to drop 10 lbs before my ship date... on March 22nd.

I'm leaving early, y'all. Wish me luck.

Superstition Always Gets the Best of Me

--------------><--------------

This card.

This one.

Right here.

This one is scaring me shitless.

Why, you ask?

Well.

Let me give you it's meaning:

Failure to put plans into action. Striving for unattainable goals. Lack of communication between dreams and reality. Failure of a promising looking enterprise. Great plans that do not come to fruition. A retreat from reality into fantasy.

Are you fucking kidding me?

It's the DAY OF my meeting with my Navy recruiter (who will be joined by my father[ex-navy], and my lovely fiance). Is this some sort of bad omen that I shouldn't go?

Damn you facebook and your Tarot Card of the Day App!

Okay, breathe. (Not like I could go without doing that -_-;;)

Most likely I'm just being a superstitious cunt and I need to relax.

But... what if I'm not? What if this really is some sign for me not to even try?

Me? Not try? HA!

Okay, mini-rant is over. Ciao lovlies.



Ahoy, Sailor....ette?



So, my lovlies, your Alley Kat is more than likely going into the U.S. Navy.

Shocking, isn't it? Shocking to me too, considering I've never really wanted to be a military girl. However, current events are making me choose...

Either I go, get great benefits, great pay, pretty much a free house, I get to travel the world at the government's expense, I'd have a guaranteed job once I serve my term...

Or I don't go, end up (more than likely) not going to school, working at this same job that I despise so much, never really being able to get anywhere in life, I'd struggle...

Right now, military is looking pretty nice.

Before I make any real decisions, lets look at the pros and cons of going, shall we?

Pros:
     -great pay
(portion goes to me, other portion goes to my significant other)
     -great benefits
(for both of us once we get married)
     -basically free house once I serve my term
     -full retirement at 40 if I stay in service for 20 years
     -free travel, see the world at no cost to me
     -job/field training for almost guaranteed job once out of service
     -be able to provide a better life for my furture family

Cons:
     -be away from loved ones for multiple weeks/months at a time
     -good chance I won't be able to handle boot camp
(I don't like being yelled at, and I'm not in the best  shape)
     -no phone/internet at boot camp, which is 2 months long
(oh how will I survive?!)

     -significant other might...might...get so bored and lonely that he may look for attention else where

(oh god I hope not)

Honestly, thats all I can think of, and I think the pros list is outweighing the cons.

Big time.

Let me be straight... I'm scared shitless to leave, I don't want to leave... But... if going into the military means I can give myself, Devin, and Molly a better life and a brighter, more comfortable future, then fuck... Why not...?

They Were the Three Bears... I was Goldilocks.



Ever had that moment when you just KNOW something is going to go wrong? When the hairs on the back of your neck stand up for no apparent reason? Well, I've had plenty of those moments.

Moments where you feel like your being watched.
Moments when you can't sit still.
Moments when you realize that something isn't right.

Been there, done that.

Growing up I was always the odd one out, but though highschool, I became the one everyone knew, everyone liked, everyone came to for advice, for company, for a good laugh. I wasn't the outcast anymore, or so I thought.

Only after graduation did I realize that my "friends" were full of bullshit. That I was being used and taken advantage of by people who didn't give two rats' asses about me.

That moment when your fears, Happen.

When the people you held dear finally turn their backs on you and leave you to the wolves. It hurts, and leaves you paralyzed. Only when someone proves they care can the paralysis leave. Lucky for me, someone picked me back up out of the nothingness.

I know I'm not the most eloquent writer, nor do I really have that, "pull-you-in" type of writing, but I do know that I can write in a way, and about certain topics, that get to people.

Some of my posts are funny, I know, but many of them are much darker, much more emotional, much more down to earth. I'm not sure where I was going with this post, I guess its just random ramblings as I sit at work and bore myself, maybe its more, who knows?

Peace, Love, and Chicken Grease

So... surprise butt sex anyone?

 By popular demand, I was asked to write/rant about anal sex... Yeah, no idea how to start this one off. But I have to say! BEFORE YOU EVEN ATTEMPT IT, THERE ARE GUIDELINES. If you do it wrong, you could seriously injure the catcher. Ask any gay bottom, he will vouch for that statement.

First off, CLEAN YOUR BUTT. No one wants a chilidog.
Secondly, use LOTS of lube. Seriously, going in dry can cause tearing and is VERY uncomfortable for the catcher, and is usually uncomfortable for the pitcher as well.
Thirdly, GO SLOW. It's not a race to get the entire length in at once. Seriously, it really hurts if its just rammed in. If it still hurts with the slow pace, try loosening yourself (or have your partner loosen you) up with a finger or two, it helps in the long run.

Okay, now I get to rant about stupidity when it comes to this crap. GUYS: Realize that not every girl starves herself for two days and then takes a laxative before anal sex. So GIVE HER A BREAK. Because when you make a big deal out of it, it will embarrass her and she'll be likely to never do it again. GIRLS: Realize that not every guy KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING BACK THERE. Be a back-seat driver and instruct him, TELL HIM if it hurts. Don't let him tear you a new one (no pun intended) without repercussion... unless you're into that sort of shit. Then by all means.

Now guys, another thing, NO ONE CARES IF YOU GOT YOUR GIRL TO DO ANAL SO STFU AND STOP TELLING YOUR FRIENDS. Believe it or not, a lot of guys find that ridiculously nasty, and they'll find you trashy and immature for being so ecstatic about it. Girls, same for you. Don't go telling all your friends about it because, more often that not, they'll be calling you a slut behind your loose end. Now guys, again, if you're straight, but have a thing for wanting your girl to finger your ass whilst giving you a handjob, PLEASE have the decency to SHAVE back there or something. SERIOUSLY, no girl wants to have to comb through a jungle just to play with something that smells worse than moldy cheese.

Okay, I'm done. Peace, love, and chicken grease.

Blogging... Let's try this.



I've never been an avid blogger. My last blog was deleted after 3 posts. I've never been one to express my daily doings with wit and style put into writing, simply because I'm not the wittiest girl nor do I have much style to anything I do. However, since graduating from highschool, my friends and I have been so far out of each others' loops, I figure this would be the easiest way to keep in touch and share epic stories. Mine, however, will be much less epic than those of my friends I'm sure. I guess I never really got the point of blogging before; was the point to simply write down random things that you did during the day? Seemed kind of pointless to me to begin with, but I guess its not completely pointless, as I can see now. Blogging is a way to express yourself, a venting point for everything that mattered to you that day. I think I'll give this a good try, and, despite work, I will do my best to post something, anything, on a daily basis. I know I won't have many followers, and those who are following me will probably be my close friends who have nothing better to do with their day. (You know who you are.)

So, since I'd like to be a little unique, message me on FB about a topic that my next post should be about. I'll rant/discuss my favorite later today.