So... surprise butt sex anyone?

 By popular demand, I was asked to write/rant about anal sex... Yeah, no idea how to start this one off. But I have to say! BEFORE YOU EVEN ATTEMPT IT, THERE ARE GUIDELINES. If you do it wrong, you could seriously injure the catcher. Ask any gay bottom, he will vouch for that statement.

First off, CLEAN YOUR BUTT. No one wants a chilidog.
Secondly, use LOTS of lube. Seriously, going in dry can cause tearing and is VERY uncomfortable for the catcher, and is usually uncomfortable for the pitcher as well.
Thirdly, GO SLOW. It's not a race to get the entire length in at once. Seriously, it really hurts if its just rammed in. If it still hurts with the slow pace, try loosening yourself (or have your partner loosen you) up with a finger or two, it helps in the long run.

Okay, now I get to rant about stupidity when it comes to this crap. GUYS: Realize that not every girl starves herself for two days and then takes a laxative before anal sex. So GIVE HER A BREAK. Because when you make a big deal out of it, it will embarrass her and she'll be likely to never do it again. GIRLS: Realize that not every guy KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING BACK THERE. Be a back-seat driver and instruct him, TELL HIM if it hurts. Don't let him tear you a new one (no pun intended) without repercussion... unless you're into that sort of shit. Then by all means.

Now guys, another thing, NO ONE CARES IF YOU GOT YOUR GIRL TO DO ANAL SO STFU AND STOP TELLING YOUR FRIENDS. Believe it or not, a lot of guys find that ridiculously nasty, and they'll find you trashy and immature for being so ecstatic about it. Girls, same for you. Don't go telling all your friends about it because, more often that not, they'll be calling you a slut behind your loose end. Now guys, again, if you're straight, but have a thing for wanting your girl to finger your ass whilst giving you a handjob, PLEASE have the decency to SHAVE back there or something. SERIOUSLY, no girl wants to have to comb through a jungle just to play with something that smells worse than moldy cheese.

Okay, I'm done. Peace, love, and chicken grease.

Blogging... Let's try this.



I've never been an avid blogger. My last blog was deleted after 3 posts. I've never been one to express my daily doings with wit and style put into writing, simply because I'm not the wittiest girl nor do I have much style to anything I do. However, since graduating from highschool, my friends and I have been so far out of each others' loops, I figure this would be the easiest way to keep in touch and share epic stories. Mine, however, will be much less epic than those of my friends I'm sure. I guess I never really got the point of blogging before; was the point to simply write down random things that you did during the day? Seemed kind of pointless to me to begin with, but I guess its not completely pointless, as I can see now. Blogging is a way to express yourself, a venting point for everything that mattered to you that day. I think I'll give this a good try, and, despite work, I will do my best to post something, anything, on a daily basis. I know I won't have many followers, and those who are following me will probably be my close friends who have nothing better to do with their day. (You know who you are.)

So, since I'd like to be a little unique, message me on FB about a topic that my next post should be about. I'll rant/discuss my favorite later today.